Self-control means that people control from within themselves. If we ask someone random about politics, environmental protection or technology, such as self-driving cars, we will hear one opinion. If we ask a lot of people, we won't hear a lot of opinions, but a few, some of which are very similar. We tend to put together a kind of patchwork opinion from information we have picked up, which is very similar to the opinions of many others who do the same. We therefore seem to be more opinion leaders than opinion formers. Unfortunately, opinions are unsuitable as a central element for constructive self-direction, because they have too little to do with ourselves and the future we are striving for. Personal dramas are also ruled out as an organizational element. Although they are individual and also contain a certain amount of our vitality, they are unfortunately directed towards the past and are more concerned with avoiding destruction than with constructing an optimal future. A person's dramas are also not a good networking point for others who have their own dramas. They are simply very individual experiences. In classic non- violent communication, we work with needs. These are very similar in all people around the world and are well understood. They encourage us to move through life. However, they do not carry any further design logic, which is why in classic NVC you always have to add a current and feasible request. Individual problems can be clarified very well in this way, but it is difficult to imagine organizing a system with this communicative effort. So we need a common forward-looking and positive creative direction in the team. So we came up with what we call utopia as a starting point. You can also call it a dream, individual visions, etc., but the term utopia gave us the most pleasure.

The cards are described in more detail in the book, as well as in the Power Point presentation available in the download tool depot.

NVC-plus has several tool cards that are numbered consecutively. Tool card 1.1 is the first tool card for the first field of the Four-Step-Circle (small card on the right). It is about freeing the life forces that are stuck in dramas, needs and qualities. As utopias, the life forces can unfold their creativity and creative power and are available for joint processes. An example: The partner says: "You'll never go to the movies with me!" Her energy comes from the drama. Then she thinks about the needs that are stuck in the drama: "I'm all about more connection, fun and togetherness. I've been missing those more and more lately! - Her energy comes from the need. She moves on to the next circle segment of the tool card: "I'm really happy and joyful when I think about how we have more togetherness, connection and fun." Now her energy comes from the qualities of togetherness, connection and playing together. But the partner doesn't know what to do just hearing this sentence. Will they make suggestions, develop feelings of guilt or both? And where is their creativity? She can come to the last circle segment of the tool card and say: "I've just realized that I have a utopian idea for our evening program: Cinema and then a cozy dinner." Now they can name their utopia and then entangle the two utopias into a common vision. Of course, this is not the perfect example because it only concerns the organization of a brief moment. You can therefore also develop a weekly, monthly, annual or lifetime utopia. You can work with project utopias, company utopias or problem-solving utopias. So many things are conceivable and you should not pay too much attention to utopias that are too big, because they are not always as important as the small ones.